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Sue's SpaceMy Journey LIVING with Breast Cancer
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March 04 obituary
Lachowicz, Susan Jennifer nee Lycan September 28, 1956 – March 1, 2008
Sue Lachowicz peacefully slipped from the loving embrace of her husband Rick into heaven’s realm where she will be reunited with her precious son Mark, in the presence of our Lord.
Sue leaves a lifetime of wonderful memories to Rick and her inspirational daughter Natalie, her mother Lorna Lycan, two sisters Lyn (Skip) Marsh and Cyndy (Mac) McInnes, step-sister Karen (Howard) Grieve, step-brother Greg Buckley, sister-in-law Krys (Peter) Rochfort, and many nieces and nephews.
Sue will be reunited with her father Richard (1998), twin sister Sheila (2003), and her loving son Mark (1997).
Sue was a caring and loving person, she gave her time and her heart freely to all who needed them. Sue was very passionate about life and it showed in the way she cooked, entertained, traveled, gardened; and above all, in the way she loved. Grace and dignity were personified by Sue in all aspects of her life, but especially in her two years of living with cancer. Sue refused to think about dying, but instead focused on living her life to the fullest. All who had the privilege of knowing Sue will find the world a little darker and lonelier today.
Our family would like to thank Dr. A Burris and all of the remarkable staff and volunteers at the Marjorie Willoughby Snowden Hospice Home. A private mass will be held for Sue at OLPH for close family. There will be a celebration of Sue’s life on Saturday, March 15th at 1pm at The Calvary Community Church (1205 Rogers Way, Kamloops, BC). Friends and family are invited to join us to reminisce, laugh, and remember with a smile the beautiful woman we all knew and loved.
We ask that in lieu of flowers, a donation in Sue’s name be made to the Marjorie Willoughby Snowden Hospice Home (72 Whiteshield Crescent South, Kamloops, BC. V2E 2S9) or the Kamloops Chapter of The Compassionate Friends (Box 29, Knutsford, BC. V0E 2A0).
March 01 the journeyAt 4:30 am this morning Sue left this world with her devoted husband Rick at her side. While she has left us, we know that Sue had God, Mark, Shelia and her Father to help guide her to the other side. I'm unable at this time, to write anything deep and meaningful about this, so I'm just going to leave you with another quote : Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
love to you all, Natalie February 28 mum Hello, This is Natalie .
I have been asked by Dad to post here that Mum will soon be reunited with Mark and Shelia. While she is still here with us at this moment, she is no longer verbal, and is getting weaker with every hour.
I really don't know what else to say, as this is such hard thing to write , and realize, because we have wanted mum to be without pain, for so long, but now that the time is drawing near is is still heart breaking.
I really want to thank every one for the phone calls, the warm wishes, prayers and support we have had during this time.
I will be making one more final post when mum passes, but until then, I'm going to leave you with a quote that has helped me though this time,
"Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean. "- David Searls
Thank you again,
Love , Natalie. February 03 Dry HeavesMy knight in shining amore zoomed me up and away bank home for a few hours. Dry heaves is about all that it has brought. I have con to the reliazatuion that is is way to hurry death - it will come as soon as it is ready - today not being one one. So I sit gazing at the brillian, listeneing to Max, the HUG dog scamperering frollickerin on the quiet front next door lawn. I have acquired dry heaves, something we Lycan cannot do.
It does feel good however to get out into real clothes and to be wearing the real stuff. Brain if not lying, nor northing else like it, it is just full full to the top of narcartis. I th January 25 Foggy at Home This MorniningI newer knew I could be so foggy. I cannot see properly to read the morning newspaper; conversarsatons with Rick and Natalie dart in and out of my head - none of which is making much sense in this fuddled mess of a head.
I had so many things that I wanted to accomplish this mornining at home, but I expect, no I KNOW, this is my last posting here on my space. my head just cannot stumble through through words. The docs tell me that I still to strong to die. Hogwash! More than anything, that is my wish. I shan't get all bent out of shape aboue about it, bu rather (weakly) take in fres pajamamas is hospice, keep quiet and paray/wish for what I want.
One last thing to do: Tomororow afternoon will be bou last family outily to see the move "The Bucket List". It is about death and dying and quiet light and full of thoughts about life. Good stuff for us I expect. I hope I can stay away and not snore. No popcopcorn for me though.
And so I leave with these final words from Pooh, words which have beem repeated countless times. and wish you my love. Always, Sue
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever
January 20 Hospice AngelsThis morning I am at HOME! Yes, my readers, Rick sprung me from Hospice to bring me home. Living these past 20 days at Hospice has been heaven - I feel that I am surrournded by them. Each of them are with me with kindness and compaision. And I feel not only the caregivers and nursers, also the "invisible" ones who are waiting to lead me on my journey. I am at peace. And for the most part, I am NOT in any pain. Everything that could be doing is being done. I am truly blessed.
But it is getting harder. My mind is fuzzerier and foggy, I am weaker. A wheelchair is is new mode of transportation because I am wobboly on my feel. I all respects I am ready to go, but this damn body doesn't wanto to leave quite get.
Thank you for the hundreds of letters sent via snail mail, messages and comments posted her - all of whomo I am too wee to respond to. But they bring me great goy and pleaserure.
And my darling Miss Natalie, who calls me ever day - her sing-song voice and giggles lighting up my world. I know you will miss me moe that I you. I wish there was some way I could stop you pain, that goes for you. Mom. and dear dear Maaris too. Three strong women - this will now be your time to do so.
I am hoping to spring out of here one final ime: Next Sundey for a Brial Shower. No you so silly geeses, I not geting married, nor is myy beautiful Natalie. I will sit at the front door. Adissmision is is by donanation. I shall try to ensure that no one in my area dose NOT sneek past. Wish me luck. I will direct them to Joshephine. Josephine won't let anyone pass without paying up. Must dash, Maria just came to the door.
One final mention - I am thrilled that a few things in my closet have already made new home:
A beautiful silver/green cocktail dress with a beaded backet. Brand spanding new. Bought it for a cruise, but I am swimming in it. It looks "fab" on someone special I know. Secondly the "Spring Bubble Coat". I know "BK" will think of me with love each time she wears it. And finally, a hand knit sheet sweater. I not no what ever posses me to buy it. I have worn it twice in the past seven years. This woman caught me both times and sweetly remarked that if I wanted to get rid of it to ask her. Ask her? Nope. Give with love to a true sheep lover. Bah, bah, bah.
Well ladies I exect, no, in fact I know this is my last past. The next one will be done by my darlings and will include THE NEWS". Thank you, thank you, thank you for being on this journey with me. I wouldn't have traded much of it - - - some of the cancer stuff near the end. But overall, my life has been brilliant filled with brialliant experiences and more importantly brillian family members and friends. It is Rick, Natalie and my close family members who hearts will ache, as too my dear friends, too many to mention.
I love you.
Sweet dreams.
Sue
January 17 Getting HarderIt is getting harder and harder for me to get on the inteernet - trying for find a wi-fi link during the day is troulbsesome and by the enevening, I am more than pooped.
Great News = pain is FINALLY being managed well - now it is just the side effects from the morphine (jerking just besfore you go to sleep) that I must contend with. Theis jerking MUST stop!!!!! Is is preveneting me from napping when the day. I have now had to sunk so low as to have notices posted at the front reception AND another one on my door that I am no longer accepting visitors. I am sad about this, but but I can get my rest it is the only option I have.
I do want to mention that I have been seeing everyone, particiculary a certaian young lady who stopped by last evenening. We have a delightful and healing chat last evening and it was made a wee bit better for her (I think) because she is now the proud owner of my FAB chocolate brown polks dots over cream, bobble pleated Spring coat. I hope she thinks of me when she wears it.
Timo to get back into bed. My vision has been failing - even wearing my presc. glasses I can hardle make out the screen or keyoard. My thoughts are with you - I will try to make one final post next week.
With my love;
January 13 .Sunday MorningGood morning - Natalie and Krystyna have long since departed and both are now back home safe & sound. I miss them both so much already. But on their heals came a slough of company - first, Bob & Dale Strong, long-time, dear friends . Bob was my former boss when I worked for Royal Bank in a lifetime afo. These sweet people where happily vacationing in sunny Calf. and Arrizona where they read here on my blog that I had moved to Hospice. A quick turn of the car and t hey were on they way home to see me. Thank you Bob and Dale for doing that for me - it means more than you realize.
This post will be short and quite scattered due to my pain regime. Pain has retirrned and it be a fee more days until the right cocktail is mized and I am back in my glory. While I rememember, Father Derrick has beenn in to see me each day to give me holy communion - how blessed am I. I',ve had numerous other visitors - so many so that you may find a "do not visit" sign on my doo. I am not finding enough time during the day to let my body rest, plus the fact that the pain is still excruiating. I know this miraculous team will sort everythhing out soon. In the meantime, pleaase be oatuebt.
Pain is increasing so I am going to cut this short. I always have good intentions of returning soon and they don't seem to pan out - I'.m sorry. This is all unchartered territory for me.
Please c ontinue to pray for me - for courage and strength - I need a good helping dose of each to battle my pain.
Always,
Sue January 10 Quick HelloGood morning ladies and what a good morning it is. I had a grrrrreat sleep. I should have becauce of the amount of drugs they pump into me - enough to kill an elephant, but I will not go!
I have neither the energy or time to respond to your many replies - replies which make me laugh and make me cry. A special note to my cousins Leslie and Arda. I think the strenth most certainly comes from the femail Lycan side of the chain.
I have rec'd so many beautiful florwers - Nanancy you sill girl sening me carnations. I was sweet and actually put them inj a vase. and the birds of paraside ofspectacular.
Yellow roses, pink roses, spring bougquets and this morning an out of this world Hawaiian arrangement with sea shells and more birds of paradise. My room is beginning to look like a floriest.
I don't know how much time I have left, but I am, for the most part enejoying it. Sadly, Natalie must return home tomorrow. Our goodbye will be the hardest yest. Please pray for strength for me then as I don't want to be a blubbering idiot.
I could lose this connection at any moment, so I anm going to sign off with my thanks and love,
Sue January 06 Very Early Sunday MorningAwake very early this morning because there was a wee bit of a problem with my morphine pain pump. All is now fixed - these living angels have also somehow managed to make my pain bearable for the most part. Hospice is live heaven on earth. My room overlooks the meeting of the North and South Thompson Rivers. Nice living roo, dining room and huge kitchen for those who still eat. Freshly baked goodies every morning which Rick's tummy loves. Abyway back to the house, there are only 6 patient rooms - all very lovely with a queen size sofa bed and a recliner. Both were used last night as Krystyna AND Rick spent the night last night. I am at peace here. I made the right choice to come here. Of course there are many angels here - the nursers and pictures, quilts, ornaments, etc. here. But I must tell you that there are many other beautiful angels here, waiting for us, to guide us.
I am in bed about 23 hours a day and use a walker when I take these wobbly, scrawny legs for a stole. I have a lot visitors, but I have decided to say, com, come, come visit me. If I tire, I (politely) ask you to leave. 10 - 15 minutes is good.
I don't know if I will have the chance to come here again. Natalie prints outs your messages every day and we have a good snuggle together on my bed while she reads them to me.
Love to you my friends,
Sue January 04 HospiceBy Natalie: No, this is not the dreaded post that many have been waiting for. Mum has asked me to post here to tell you that she is has been moved from the hospital, and is now comfortably in Hospice care, as a beautiful home that overlooks the city. While a majority of mum’s day consists of her sleeping (or just resting my eyes, as mum says), she is comfortable and that is what matters at this time.
Thank you for your prayers, calls, emails and well wished for both mum/Sue and our family.
January 01 Thank YouThank you for inviting me into your lives. I hope that I have enriched yours as you have enriched mine.
Pain is now unbearable and an ambulance should be arriving within a few minutes to take me to the hospital. I will not be coming home. It is time and I am ready.
I will carry your prayers, love and friendship with me until I am safely in the arms of my God and precious Mark.
Natalie or Rick will post here when I have passed over into beautiful heaven.
With my love,
Sue December 30 Sunday AfternoonNow that I have started typing this, I cannot remember when I made my last post. What a silly goose! And a lazy goose too - it seems far too much work to close this out and read what I wrote last. In any event, this morning was horrid. Any movement or talking had me RUNNING to the bathroom - not an easy feat when you're legs, back and hips hurt like mine do. But I survived and my stomach is now growling! And, sit down for this tidbit of news - I ATE HALF AN APPLE!!! Food-wise this is a good day: 1/2 apple; 6 oz ice tea; 1 slice of celery; 1 tsp. cream cheese; 2 Tablespoons beef broth. Not enough to gain weight, but I expect when I hop on the scales tomorrow morning I will not face another loss.
Does all of this equate to feeling better? Sadly, no. I am still very queasy. The usual aches and pains are with me and I am tired - very, very tired. I drift in an out and out and in. Poor company for Rick who must be mad from boredom. I was too ill to attend church this morning, so church came to me! A first for me - having communion in my living room wearing my jammies.
Rick and I spent some time picking out music for my service and sort of getting started on my obit notice. I am a control freak and want it written now. Rick and Natalie, I believe, want to wait and do it on their own. I am too weak to fight or write it myself, but I will keep trying.
I have been inundated with emails of late. Please do not expect a response - I don't have the energy to do so. But keep them coming! I enjoy reading each and every one.
Back is sore sitting here in my office. I may go and track down my laptop, but perhaps I may nap instead.
P.S. For those of you who enquired about medical marijuanna in the comments section of my last post, yes it is available here in Canada. Yes, I did try it. It was great for my pain; however, it made me throw up. Damn! I'm sure I'd be gaining weight with marijuanna munchies if it had worked. December 29 Getting BetterManaged to keep about 6 oz of ice tea, two teaspoons of jello and a slice of an orange down. Nothing tastes as it should and it is a real effort to eat, but I must try as my weight continues to plummet.
I am even dressed today and shortly will head out to buy a baby gift. This is for a special baby and I don't trust Rick to buy anything, so off I must go. I am even craving a beer, so a stop for one of those too. What a busy day for me. I expect this is one of my last days out and about - I really have no desire to do/see anything. I just seem to drift in and out - which is perfect fine with me.
I got my fake nails removed yesterday - woohoo! Typing here is much easier and while my nails look horrid, I am thrilled that I am able to type again.
December 28 Not GoodNaseau is back after a week long absence. Damn. I'll take pain over naseau any day. The naseau will try to take my spirit faster than the weight I am losing, but I will not allow it - at least not toay.
Thank you for all of your kind wishes - finally had the energy to read them this morning. Back to lay still. December 25 Merry ChristmasMerry Christmas my dear ones,
We are back from the cruise and arrived yesterday at my mom's beautiful home in paradise - Garden Bay, BC where every room overlooks the ocean. Yesterday the sun was shining, today stormy skies outside. Inside, the house is toasty and filled with the aroma of turkey roasting. With me, Rick and Natalie are of course my mom, my eldest sister Lyn and her husband
Skip and my step-brother, Greg. Good company, good food, good lodgings and I hope good memories. The cruise was "fair". I confess I was not feeling well. I confess that it was worse than that, but despite my health, I managed to have an overall good time. I know that Rick, Natalie and Melinda all had a grrrrreat time. I took my laptop with me but sadly I was just too sick to even consider turning it on. Sadly I spent far too much time tucked ino bed sucking on ice chips.
The wedding vow renewal ceremony was altered at the last minute because of my health. Very informal - just words exchanged off the top of our heads. The ceremony portion was too overwhelming for me. It was perfect. Pics? I think so. I will check with Nat and try to upload some soon.
I am hurting. I am tired. I want things to end sooner than later. My clothes are hanging off me - not surprising consideriding I am basically existing on fluids. We will head home tomorrow to Kamloops so I can see my doc on Thursday. I know there must be something they can prescribe to make these next few days better - at least I hope there is.
Enough rambling - as this short post has already exhausted me. I do want to thank "The Sistahs" for making our wedding anniversary so very special. You brought tears to our eyes and your words were perfect. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Merry Christmas to each of you from my family - we are having a nice day despite . . . . . . . . . . . . No, it is not perfect, but it is very, very nice.
Sue
PS - Natalie's story is FINALLY in print in the Jan. edition of Reader's Digest (Canadian edition). It is a far better read than this mess of a post. December 14 Away from Home Yet AgainFinal things are just being popped into my suitcase and in a few short hours, off I shall depart for my final cruise. We are picking up Nat's best friend this morning, then onto to Vancouver to see the baby. Once the four of us are together we will officially be in cruise mode! Tomorrow morning a quick drive from Vancouver to Seattle where we will fly onto LAX for our sunday morning departure onto the ship.
My ususally oraganized state is gone - there are a few favourites that are missing, but nothing I can do about it this morning - just make do with what I have. I have so many little piles - b'day and chsristmas and wedding stuff plus cruise stuff - eeek! Warm weather - cold weather for our week later - too much stuff and no room!
And things to do - Christmas cards - still lay across my kitchen table as is a host of little gifts that I wanted to drop off - these too shall have to wait. Time, time, time and not enough of it (nor energy too).
My readers, these have been boring entries of late because my life has been boring of late. Just hangoing about trying to get well - not much news in that! So, I will take t his momemt to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and may His Peace fill your heart with warmth and gladdness. Our thanks for your conintued wishes - we will carry each of them close with us as we sail the beautiful Mexican Riveria.
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr. There have been numerous times these past few weeks that having the faith that I would be embarking on this cruise seemed like a real long shot. But faith persevered and now I'm getting ready to depart. Don't give up - never, ever. Miracles abound at every corner. Beileve.
Home again on the 28th -- although I will have my trusty new laptop with me, so I hope to blog a bit from the high seas.
Sue December 13 HomeHome from 3 days in the hospital - and while Iam not feelin up to snuff - nor much like posting here - I am feeling better. No more constant throwing up!!! Yes, I am queasy and very foggy. But the constant feeling of nauseau has been banished and I'm a million bucks better. Thank you for your blessings, prayers, candles,etc. - they mean a lot.
Time for yet another nap - my day is outta whack - Time and space are very wonky. It is safer for all if I disappear for an hour or two. December 10 A Duplicate EntryThis should be a duplicate entry - because the original entry is lost. And, for once, not a short entry about plumbing an throwing up. No, this one had . . . . .presents!!! My step-sister popped by yesterday with a basket of goodies - Amaruba for me. Do you know what it is? South African liquet - cream based - very yummy. I recall sipping on this (as did all of Sheila's caregivers) when my twin-sis was ill with her cancer. Sheila would clang, clang, clang on her bell - whould would go unanswered. We would sip, sip, sip on the Amarula - hehe -and hence Sheila's bell would remain unanswererd.
Today's entry was more than about duplicate entries, presents or stuff. Today is the worldwide remembered for all bereaved children. Today at 7:00 p.m. - in time zones right 'round the globe, our candles will be lit. Well I did light my formidable candle for an hour - and I did light a candle for Mark at 2:00 pm when I should have been there. But it was not enough. I should have been there. It's just not right in this mix-up world of late.
Today is no better. (The above was written yesterday). I am waiting to hear from the hospital for admitting. I am dehydrated and I need to be rehydrated for a procedure tomorrow morning. Geesh. When does it end? Anyway, I should get dressed and ready for when the call comes.
Sue - who is queasy despite all attempts to banish these feelings from my body. December 07 These Boring Days Must Stop!Yet another day filled with a lot of my sameness - wake-up, take a whack of pills. Eat. Throw Up Breakfast & Pills. Rest all morning. Repeat at lunch.
A nice variance to my morning though - two angels apppeared on my doorstep and came and wrapped all of my Christmas gifts! What a fanatastic gift this is - given my sorey state at this point.
After lunch, Rick's sister & BIL stopped in. They are going to stay for supper (Rick is cooking) and also spend the night. Rick will be happy to have people to talk to as I tend to constantly drift in and out - and I will have happy to have a nurse in the house - if I need one.
Chores are mounting up - Christmas cards and some baking still must be done - hopefully tomorrow. Painting the walls has been put on the back burner until my nausea subsides - there is NO way I can fathom paint fumes right now.
Rick, Peter & Krys made a nice dinner and as I type, they are cleaning up the kitchen. They plan to watch a movie and I expect to be napping yet again. I just want some energy! It is very frustrating to be feeling somewhat well, and not have the energy to do anything. And this fuzzy brain business must come to an end too. There are still a few important thoughts in this head that I need to get out here. Hopefully in the next few days they will leave my head and find their way to this page. Keep hoping - it's not gonna happen tongiht.
Sweet dreams,
PS - thanks for the continued good wishes, prayers and support. Your words are helping . . . . a l ot. When I am feeling very blue - as I am often do of late, your messages make my spirit soar and feel happier. Thank you very much for that.
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